I N S I D E {voice}

Ahhh, yes... a new blog.
What Catherine another one?
Hey if you'll notice I deleted those ones that I don't use so...
How's for my new years blog resolution???
It's a story one. I've become quite addicted to those. Inside voice I call it. Clever name huh? Well i think so. So on day in my hopes to become published, for this novel I would lke the following to be on the inside flap:

Mabel talks to herself. She has an inner voice that has found it's way out to be a friend. Her only friend.
She has just moved to the deep south with her mother, she disdains her mom. She hates it. She hates the humid warm weather of Georgia. The southern acents hurt her ears and everyone always smells like cow manurer.
On her first day of her new school she notices a boy by himself, Noah, because the others have shunned him. She decides to go over to him after much debate. Noah is intriged by her quirk and background. Mabel is intriged by his ideas. They explore there small town and soon fall into an internal war that has been fighting in Mabel since her dawn.

I like the idea, you can too... if you want. This story though was inspired by my own life, so yeah don't know why i said that. to see it click here

Coments apreciated.
Readers encouraged.
And of course, Outcasts Welcomed.

twilight...

Ah yes the renowned series i have protested against and swore i would never read. The book that makes you dream of being a vampire and wish you were in love.

The book that i am obsesivly nerotic over.

I have an honest exuse to my hypocrasy i swear.

Well... maybe, my friend just threw it at pissed after my latest sermen rejecting the thing. I opened the book, thinking just looking to see what the big deal was, wasn't going to hurt anyone. I couldn't put the damn thing down. I stayed up until three trying to finish it. But I still complained that the story was bad (even though it wasn't) and wouldn't let anyone see me reading it let alone tell anyone. The story was I have to admit much better then i expected (damnit) corny - yes - but it still made me melt.

The main character, Bella - through Edward's, the vampire she falls in love with, eyes - (yes i downloaded "Midnight Sun" , Twilight from Edward's perspective, off of Stephanie Meyer's website) Bella is selfless and the week after reading it I was acting like (in the words of Phil Darling) a complete "Kiss ass". Atleast the book inspired something good.

But I have decided that it was not the book itself I should have been disdainful towards it was the colt the novel struck that pissed me off.

The story was so mainstream (I tend to try to be very elistist when choosing books) everyone was effect by it's writing, everyone knew the book. I didn't like, no... I don't like that I'm doing what everyone else is. It's so god forbid... normal. Me and my hiereracrchial senses *scoff*. So now I'm on book two of the saga "New Moon" and have formed an opinion on all the characters and all the scenarios.

I have given up on willpower so now I will just read.

Capture of a few Moments

Mesh and Jumbles of the captures I've created.
The photo's I've taken lately that I think are internet worthy

Reading and Temperary Friends

When ever I read a book I get lost in the story line, the plot leads me to a place when my whole life seems to be told as a story in my head. Like I'm stuck in "Stranger Then Fiction". I guess that's why I read so much last year to replace the friends I wish I had. I can avoid my own life and enters someone Else's i become a bystander following them through the introduction and climax and falling action. I find some way to add their problems to my own just to kid my self that my life is more interesting then it really is. I stand staring into space explaining the events occurring around me to precise description:

"Her face was drained, she was upset whether she wanted to show it or not. I should go talk to her. I overcome my laziness and walk over pretending to get tissues. 'Hey Paige', say. She doesn't pay attention, she's too interested in the pizza stain on her sweater. I walk away it's no use in getting her to speak, not here, not now..."

The occurrences of geography. That's what went through my head, word for word. I told you I need to get a life. Books and their pages and authors and words, my temporary friends when no one else is there or I feel lost. Thank you for listening, you always let me talk.

Pondering the inner sanctum of the Human mind

Wow. Deep title sequence. We must do alot today to keep this up.
Think of your school. And think of all the different cliques that roam the forbidden, unsafe halls.
For instance I attend an art school so we consist of:
+Two rivel "rebel/gothie" groups:
-The leather jacket kids and all the rest of them
-the indie powerpop kids
-the skater kids
-the some what indie kids that like to hang at skate station
-the outcasted scene kids who hang with both "rebel/gothie" groups
-the dancer prep kids
-the ghetto local kids
-the poser emo kids
-and all the rest of us

Of course the cliques arn't as seperated as they seem in "Mean Girls" but who hangs out with who is some what obvious, because us being art kids we have to express ourselves to the up most highest standards of the kind of music we listen to. I fit into the rest of us but I mingle in and out of each groups. Such as the indie-powerpop kids (we have the same style) and the outcasted scene kids. My two best friends happen to dress prep and skater but don't hangout with there clique.
My school, a magnent, is located in the middle of the bull-dosed ghetto, so we have the local kids whose parents are scared of the gang schools.

So why do we go to such great lengths to find our label? Maybe it's because we want to fit in (don't lie and say you dont, because I tried that once and that year ended in flames). We want to feel welcome in a group, it's just human nature.
Thats how I feel around the table at christmas time all my family (not just my sad excuse dingy little broken family). But my cousins and aunt and grandparents we bless our food and when everyone is reciting the pray I open my eyes. And look around the feast at the glowing face and you can just feel the warmth... the welcome. It makes me feel like I belong it's a good feeling. Maybe thats why we label.

El Presidente

My parents are scared as hell since he won.

The new comander and chief of the united states armed forces evryone:

Barack Obama...... whats your opinion?

What the parentals need though is... hope.

No I'm not saying Obama's going to be a good president, I'm not saying he'll be a bad one, I'm stating my opinion at all.

Hope the one little man who was lost in pandora's box. Never say theres no hope. They're always is, sometimes you just have to dig really deep to find it. But it's there... somewhere. You must always have hope for with out it they're is nothing to live for. Then we'd all be dead and there would be no bad, but also... no good. For with out bad there is nothing to compare good to. No difference there to see how things can change. No celebration when your finally out of hard time because you would have never had any. Hope, good, bad, intertwine.

Have hope in the American people. Have hope we made the right chose and that all hell will not break out as my parent keep reminding me that it surely will.

The Turtles

Lets Nerd Out and Be "Happy Together"

The Tree Singer

Ahhhh Florida has finally gotten it's first fall breeze. Our little taste of coolness.

I zoom down on my 7-speed. I twist and turn to an empty tree, a few leaves have fallen but not many. I climb and maneuver to the tippy top. I am truly your every day pro-tree climber. It's how you say a...passion. I'm at the top the wind whips through my hair, my pull-over barely warming the chill. But it is nice, invigorating.

One of those feelings when you just don't care, about the consiquinces or what everyone else will think. I jumped on the opportunity to be...spontaneous. So I started, singing, yes creating a musical rhythm with my voice, quite poorly i might add. Do-re-mi-fa-sol-la-ti-do escapes from my mouth, yes the classic from "The Sound of Music". I sat there in the tree, the old sturdy structure of the plant, i had found the perfect position to sing my heart out.

The tree grow in the median, road on either side. I swear i saw more cars pass today then i ever had. They all waved and smiled and honked, cheering me on. The surrounding trees my true audience applauding any note hit. They sway back and forth when the tone slows. A wiser oak smiles gently, grandfather tree, approving of this childish act this act of carelessness and...fun. Watching children play is always fun, watching them imagine the irrational, the impossible.

Fall is forever my favorite season. The earthy colors and light cool breeze is vivacious (I've been wanting to use that word). It's Halloween season and thanking season and my birthday season. No wonder i love it , I was born with it.

Hell on Earth

"Hello?" Avalene called into the darkness. She waited, no one answered, and she knew no one would call back. All was gone, she was the only one left. The scars of our past have finally destroyed our future into a crumblig pile of nothingness, the blankness of a broken television. These are the crumbles of brick I walk upon. The present is the absense of place...placelessness. We are no longer different nor the same, just a mesh of everything, good and bad, for now we have no sense of the words......and nothing, to form this empty waste. It's just dark and black as if we have been evaporated in a vortex; it stretches to the end of time, as far as the eye can see, it is a pigmentless terrian of flat. No color or light, a dirty abyss shall await Avalene for every awakened slumber. No sense of time or imagination, your non-exsistance can never escape. For Avalene is merely another lost soul, no body or mind.....melting and reforming and evaporating into this constant cycle of hell. But if no one can pry their closed eyes, shunning exsistance to wittness...is it occuring?

The Doors

Jim Morrison:
-acid head
-poet
-awesome person, so
awesome he's can't be considered human and is here from another planet.
You can't get much awesomer.
He is officailly my new favoritest person in the whole world, my idol, my hero.
"Lets swim to the moon"{-Jim Morrison} and walk among the people who believe. Lets live and laugh and love and watch as the world goes round. Lets enter a trance, a state of absolute being. I'll take a trip with you Jim Morrison and never come back.

I just finished watching they're movie, The doors, directed by, Oliver Stone, I had to mention him (the man is completly and fully a genius in disguise). It was i must say the best movie i have seen in awhile. Oliver, i swear got me high just watching the movie. The movie was so tragic, no the reality is so tragic......Jim dies. *tear*.
But Jim Morrison is an absolute mad man, i love him like that. His poetry is so true in the most uncomprehensive way. He just meshes words around and together in to pure music and sound and realness.

"The end" is my favorite song/poem/wordmesh Jim has invented. Read it and you'll see my muse.

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
Ill never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...strangers hand
In a...desperate land

Lost in a roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

Theres danger on the edge of town
Ride the kings highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...hes old, and his skin is cold

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and well do the rest

The blue bus is callin us
The blue bus is callin us
Driver, where you taken us

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...i want to...fuck you

Cmon baby, take a chance with us
Cmon baby, take a chance with us
Cmon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin a blue rock
Cmon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end